Shaky fingers

Im tired.

training killed me, im aching once again. but its the agony that gives pleasure. and al of a sudden pain has found a whole new meaning.

Im tired.

nothing sems to be right. i cant seem to get anything for maself. ALL for maself. i juz hate the different mentalities that go around.

Crying a river..

i juz wanna live happily, please, juz leave me alone.


the one person i miss so much right now, strangely, is my brother. army has destroyed our relationship. we dont tok much at home either, but his presence somehow gave me a face to look at every morn when i wake up and every night before i hit the sack. we dont open up bout issues to each other but deep down we both know that we would be there for each other in times of need.

but yet i feel the absence, but from a person whom i so dearly love, yet she does not see it. for they say love is blind, and she's juz got a blindfold over her eyes.

am i speakin nuts? YOU decide.

B I T C H es Galore....

CAN ALL YOU BITCHES GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!!!! CAN U FUCKIN ROTTEN PUSSIES STOP MESSING AROUND MY LIFE!!

STOP MESING UP MY RELATIONSHIP! AND FUCKIN STOP GOIN AROUND TELLIN PEOPLE THAT I STILL CONTACT YOU BITCHES!!!

LEAVE ME ALONE!! LET ME LIVE IN PEACE! GET A FUCKIN LIFE AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA MA LIFE!!!

WHY THE FUCK ARE U BITCHES SO LIFELESS??? STOP SCREWIN UP MA LIFE!! U FUCKIN GUTLESS PIECES OF SHIT!!!

IM HAPPY FINALLY HAPPY AFTER SO LONG. SHE'S THE ONE. JUST LEAVE US ALONE AND STOP TRYNNA BREAK US UP!!

U FUCKIN PUSSIES SHOULD BE FUCKIN TAUGHT A LESSON. I WANT TO LIVE HAPPILY WITH HER SO STOP SPREADING RUMOURS ABOUT ME AND STOP WANTING TO FIND OUT BOUT ME!!

IM NO FUCKIN STAR SO PLEASE FIND SOMEBODY ELSE TO FUCK AROUND WITH. I DON WANNA RESORT TO TEARIN YA PUSSIES APART BUT IM SICK OF THIS!

AND YOU DUMBWITS CALL YASELVES FRENDS?? O FOR CHRIST'S SAKE STOP YA BULLSHIT AND BOMBARDING HER WITH SHIT.

IF YOU CANT STAND THE MERE FACT THAT SHE IS TOTALLY MINE TELL ME STRAIGHT INTO MA FACE!! OTHAWISE GET DOWN ON YA KNEES AND SUCK MA FUCKIN DICK!!!

sorry for the caps ma laptop was jammed after i threw it on the floor on anger. Thanks bitches.

Life's little secret....

she doesnt love me animore. she's not afraid to lose me. but she doesnt have the guts to tell it to ma face.

wat does she do?? she tortures me and kills me with her words in a hope that I would totally break down and ask her for the break up. how ingenuous of her!

i was stronger before, but now im falling to her onslaught. no thanks to the bitch frens she has, all they want is for us to split. VULTURES they are. Cunning bitches.

ma knees are weaker. ma mind is a whirlwind. ma words are dried up. i cant seem to fight the battle any longer.

i juz love her to much i guess. i cant seem to get her off ma mind at all! she's like glued to even ma imagination. and yet she makes me cry everytime i dash to answer her calls.

how can one proclaim love when all they do is torture and make one cry? im destroyed inside. i dont even know wat's keepin me goin!

why cant these maffuckers mind their own buisness?? why are they so dedicated to research bout me and dig into our relationships? looks likes even girls these days deserve to get whacked so as to drive some sense into their fuckin empty numbskulls!

such pussies whu aint got the guts to face me, but yet they hide behind ma back and leave distinguished scars, so as to proudly claim a stake in splitting this relationship.

WHY ARE INDIANS LIKE THAT? these peices of shit give the majority a bad name. or maybe its more like just everybody else make up the word 'shit', with an exception of few off course.

i do not want to resort to violent tactics, im a man of peace. but juz dont think im gonna sit ma ass down and watch you destroy ma life. i will dig out ya eyes, unplug ya noses, unclip ya jaws and then FINALLY BREAK YA FACES INTO TWO IF I HAVE TO!!!

peace.

fate.

WAT WRONG DID I DO TO HER??? wat wrong did i ever do to anybody!!! she just makes me wanna cry and tear ma hair out every single night! I NEED HELP!!!

does anybody hear ma cries??? im goin crazy.....wahh i juz cant seem to sit still and take all this shit! PLZ SOMEBODY HELP ME?

an avenue to release some unhappy thoughts, vent some frustration. thtz all.

all i have done is cried.

[-<-_->-]

im fightin a losing battle. either i stay and put up wid the shit or i leave. therez no 2 ways bout it.
then how do i accertain the battle posture hence forth?

things have gotten out of ma hand now. and fate seems to be playin twisted mind games wid me. to no avail am i in the position to play otherwise.

so izzit gonna be battle or the white flag?
You be the judge and decide ma fate. im Open to all alternates.

{A Distant Distance}

i juz do not know wat to babble animore. im lost for words in this thick jungle. the people ard me are playin games. its hot outside and im fuming on the inside. im broke and i wanna rob a bank. so ladies out there, if ya had ever wanted to be rollin in the big bucks, now's the time to hook me up. i didnt train much yesterdae either and ma coach's headin back to thailand for a week so once again i gotta wait 2 fuckin damn weeks to hit bag again! but ma toe was aching like fuck last night and i cdnt kick at all. so fuckin pissed so fuckin dissapointed. and i was dutifully humbled to the ground went i took on ma coach for a round of sparring. ma confidence level took a plunge. all the pad-kickin and bag-hittin made me think i was up to any challenge. when i stepped into the ring against the champion, he made mince meat outta me in seconds! haha i mean i was appalled by his mere technique. not to mention, he was effortless in his quest to bring all of us to the canvas. the only consolation was that i didnt meet the floor but i had to withstand a barrage of well-aimed punches and well placed kicks that he happily meted out with a cheeky smile. well wat else cd he say; just kill 'em all and let God sort it out.

Sons (and daughters) of a bitch.

Just a gentle reminder to the maffuckers out there.

I dont entertain pple runnin their mouths all over the place, bitchin behind ma back and bullcrap like that.

I will put ma foot into ya mouths, literally. You got the fuckin guts to gossip bout me come stand me in ma nose and face me. Unless ya a pussy off course then go play ya game elsewhere.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is just a gentle reminder to BUCKLE up ya seatbelts, for otherwise failure to do so would NOT be pleasant in the ROUGH weather to come.

Cheers pussy faces and dickheads.

Sex Lies and Deceit

and it still hurts! no i mean genuinely it still tweaks at the slightest movement. its now i realise the importance of 'once-a-week' trainings. imagine sendin ma toe back to the heavy bag the followin day wid sucha swell!

im a-blur at certain issues. am i supposed to leave it all and walk the lone path? or should i fall to temptations and keep maself abreast of the latest scandals and deceits...i read the minds of women presumably well and hence i should speak to those whu heed my warning; the reluctant male race.

a few good men passed on a few lil lessons but i chose to head south where the treasure promised me hope. and wat i saw was the truth, that nothin was permanent and the one whum you seek is juz next to you. mistakes made and i realise how much of makin up i have to do.

I AM SORRY. these words hardly a reflection of how she feels right now i understand. but wat takes time is a mere vacuum for emotions to blossom. im headin north now, and lets see what in store over there for me...

- Bloodsport -

the wait to train has finally revealed its repurcussions. i finally got ma first injury!

haha as sadist as i may sound, the sprained toe is a mere reflection of ma passion for the sport. though its kinda unbearable.

i wonder wat more i have to break or undergo just to attain glory in such a fearsome sport. but as they always say the more you sweat in the gym, the less you bleed in the ring. so bring on the bone collector!!

A Democratic Republican.

True love...haaah...ma ass!

its some shit thtz meant up in heaven and does not see its place down here. im a lost bird trynna get out of civilisation and into the wilderness. for i seek glory, in its path lay a treacherous form called life. do i fit in this world...do i fit in hers?

two days that saw nor heard any word. for i had to cling on to other dwellings to breathe life into me. the distant cry of a voice that holds herself back and not showing me all the true splendours of beauty. now wat grave sin did i commit to land maself in such deminds?

i want more money. i had to wait another week for training. i wanna hit two places. but capital isn't in my corner. its poverty and headache that are standing in ma side.

i just aint feelin good bout anth! im in the lowest phase in ma life right now. the ones ard me make me feel that way. ive lost hope in everyone. there isnt a soul that wants to pull me along in life. or maybe there are but too little perhaps? an inner self that picks up tears and washes time away in despair.

have i written enough you ask. have u felt enough i answer. to ask is one's way of letting himself go to the world ard him/her. to answer is to provide consolence. and im still seeking anwers to this riddle...